Can you ask for help in tech?

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This week we’re quoting…

Ioana Matei (Head of Emerging/Immersive Technologies – Metaverse/Web3)

What Matei said:

“Get connected with like-minded people. Use your network to learn, create opportunities and ask for help. Do ask for help, you will be surprised at the support you will receive.”

It’s not just about ego

Matei’s advice was aimed at women in tech. But beyond the gender divide, it got us thinking about whether or not the tech industry fosters a culture in which entrepreneurs feel like they can ask for help.

We don’t actually have an answer to that question. What do you think? When you’re facing a challenge you can’t overcome on your own, can you reach out to colleagues in tech and ask for assistance? 

One thing we do know is that all of us have a tendency to stand in our own way when it comes to admitting we can’t do something on our own. Part of that might come down to ego – or at least, that’s what success literature tells us. But the culture we’re working within also plays a big part.

So we decided to try and find out which industries make it the easiest for people to ask for help. And you know what we found? Almost nothing. We found loads of anecdotal evidence on personal blogs about professionals in certain industries, but no credible research to suggest that some industries are more supportive than others.

It was a bit of an anti-climax. But we didn’t stop there.

From psychology to business growth

Thwarted by the dead end we hit on our first path of enquiry, we did a U-turn and jumped back into psychology: to explore why it’s absolutely OK for tech innovators to ask for help.

This is what we found:

1. People often don’t feel like you’re imposing on them when you ask for help.

This is important – because worrying you’ll be seen as annoying is a big barrier when you’re seeking support. As social psychologist Xuan Zhao explained to Stanford News, we often underestimate how willing (or even eager) people are to help others, and how good it makes them feel to do so. Rather than feeling like they’re being imposed upon, people like being asked for help.

A research review by Vanessa Bohns (Professor of Organisational Behaviour at Cornell University) found that people provided assistance to strangers 48% more often than the seekers-of-help expected. Bohns also found that help-seekers underestimate how much effort people will put in if they do offer help – in fact, people are much more likely to go to great lengths to help us out than we think they are.

2. Help generates a natural high.

Countless studies now show that helping people gives the helper a psychological benefit. This 2017 study in Switzerland found that something as simple as pledging to spend just a small amount of money on someone else creates more internal happiness than deciding to spend that same money on themselves.

In other words, helping isn’t ever exactly altruistic. People know that if they help someone else, it’ll make them feel good. And everyone wants to feel good.

3. People want to feel effective.

Psychology suggests that people want to be effective – so when you ask for help, it’s really important to make it clear you’ll share the results of that help with the helper. Promise to keep them up to date on the impact of their actions, and they’ll be more excited about the prospect of giving you their aid.

One study, by Adam Grant (Professor at the Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania) found that when employees at a call centre were visited by one of the beneficiaries of their outbound calls; and the beneficiary spoke to them about how much their work was supporting him

Our point is…